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I’m either a nerd or a pervert. Probably both.

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Guys.

Guys, this is really bothering me.

Okay. I’ve explained that I’m an English major, right? More accurately, a Creative Writing major, but it falls in the general “English” field. So part of what I do, what I study, et cetera, is knowing how to choose words and arrange them and punctuate them in order to make a logical thing. Sentence. That. So I’m completely serious when I ask this, and if anyone knows the answer, please tell me.

What part of speech is vagazzle?

UPDATE: Okay, I’m pretty sure it’s a verb. I mean, if there’s a vagazzler, then it has to be something you can do. But how do you use it? “Yeah, I heard she vagazzles.” That doesn’t sound right. “Oh, she totally vagazzles herself.” Is that it? Does it have to be reflexive? I feel like “She vagazzles her vagina” is probably redundant. Maybe “vagazzler” refers to the person who does it? “She is such a vagazzler.” But what do they say if, like, someone calls when they’re halfway through? “Can I call you back? I’m gluing rhinestones to my junk.” “Can I call you back? I’m vagazzling [myself/my junk].” I don’t know. This is clearly a problem with Modern English.

About Rachael

Hi. I'm Rachael. I realized one day that, even though I read a lot of books, I often have a hard time remembering them later on. I guess that happens when there's so much to try to remember! So I started The 50 Book Project, with the intention to read and blog about 50 new (to me) books in 2014. I read a lot of fantasy, but I'm trying to branch out and experience new stuff. Any questions? Suggestions? Let me know! Comment, or email me at dearohrachael@gmail.com.

21 responses »

  1. It’s a verb! Plz don’t ask how I know this. It’s a verb that works like the word embroider.

    Reply
    • Hah! I worked out the “verb” part in my “update” which you commented while I was in the middle of writing. Embroider? Okay, so you embroider a flower onto your jacket. Do you vagazzle a star onto your crotch? Or do you just vagazzle? I mean, you don’t have to specify where. The word does that for you. But I feel like people don’t just say “Oh, I’m embroidering.” You know? But thanks! This is valuable information.

      Reply
      • I think you would just say “I’m vagazzling myself”. because you have to specify WHO you’re vagazzling. Otherwise you could just be sticking sparkly things all over ANYONE’s bits.

        Reply
  2. clearly you vagazzle a vajayjay, preferably your own or that of a close friend or paying customer. verb, no doubt.

    Reply
    • I really hope there are not people out there whose job it is to vagazzle everyone else’s vajayjays. It would be kinda cool if gynecologists did it, though. “Okay, so you’re here today for your yearly pap, a chlamydia test and a rhinestone heart vagazzling?”

      Reply
  3. I’m pretty sure it’s a transitive verb, and I’m also almost positive it should be spelled “vajazzle.” I mean, spellcheck does not back me up here, but it rarely does.

    A vajazzler vajazzles her vajayjay. After vajazzling, she is vajazzled.

    Reply
  4. i assure you that you can in fact be vajazzled at a salon by a professional vajazzler.

    i refuse to google for a link because oh, the horror.

    Reply
    • I think I want that job for a few days…or, more accurately, to be an assistant and not have to do anything. Just to see the people who come in for it and what they get done. I too refuse to Google this.

      Reply
      • Ok… *I’ll* look it for you. http://www.spaweekblog.com/2010/02/25/vajazzle-the-feature-film/
        Complete with a video of someone getting vajazzled.

        Reply
        • I have this horrific sense of curiosity, but also a knowledge that it won’t end well. This is troubling.

          Reply
          • Okay I watched it and it’s just weird. I mean do you have to cover the vajazzled area with plastic when you shower so it doesn’t get wet and you lose your vajazzledness? What about baths? How do you clean the area so you don’t end up with a stinky, sticky vajazzled vajayjay? What about sex? Do you think the vajazzling would come off and would your partner end up unwillingly vajazzled? If you get it done outside the country and come back, do you have to declare it when you go through customs?

            Dammit I shouldn’t have watched that, now I have vajazzle angst….Great!!

            Reply
            • Oh my god, what happens if it comes off on a dude? Does he become dickjazzled? Dickazzled? No, that sounds like anal. Cockjazzle? That would be fantastic. “I was really sweaty, so I accidentally cockjazzled him and he totally didn’t notice!”

              Reply
              • Good question, cause dudes are really particular about their junk and how it looks, they definitely wouldn’t want anything sparkly…oooh unless it’s kind of like runway lights to say “your vajayjay belongs here”. hmmmm. Maybe they could have cockjazzle with strobe lights. It could be a like a rave or something.

                Reply
  5. When in doubt, visit the Urban Dictionary. It doesn’t always satisfy, but sometimes it.. bedazzles.

    Reply
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