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Monthly Archives: May 2011

Horrible Medical Advice of the Week: Get That Cough Checked Out

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This horrible medical advice is brought to you by the people I’ve heard actually give this advice many, many times.

“Oh, that cough sounds awful. How long have you had it? More than three days? You should definitely go see a nurse practitioner about that. You should always see nurse practitioners, because they can do everything a doctor can do and they’re more willing to make appointments with you. So hurry up and call your doctor’s office or health center to see someone about your cough.”

This was almost always followed up, a few days later, by this: “Did you see the NP? Great. Oh, it’s probably just a cough but they gave you antibiotics just in case? Good. That’s important. You’re taking care of yourself.”

Okay, so that was the horrible medical advice, and now I’m going to rant about explain why this is horrible medical advice, so I suppose I’m actually giving you good medical advice (note: see disclaimer at bottom of post), and I apologize for that but it infuriates me to no fucking end when people with no fucking clue about medicine give advice as if they have a fucking clue.

1: You have a cough. Do you have any other symptoms? Are you coughing up nasty shit? Are you unable to breathe because of the coughing? Do you hear weird rattling or fluidy sounds when you cough? If the answer to all of these questions is no, you probably have…A COLD. Don’t go to the doctor for a fucking cold unless your immune system is horrible or you’ve developed some sort of infection. If your other symptoms are sneezing and a runny nose, then it’s definitely a cold and you’re wasting your doctor’s time. Your doctor could be spending that time doing something important, like doing necessary check-ups with someone with a chronic illness or giving me migraine medication.

2: Nurse practitioners can’t do everything a doctor does. In fact, that’s exactly why they are “more willing” to see you. It’s not that they’re more willing, it’s that everyone fucking knows that when you go to the doctor you should go to the doctor. (No, not The Doctor, though I’m sure he could help if you needed it.) So they have more time because people don’t want to book their time as much. Nurse practitioners can do many things and they’re a valuable asset to most doctors’ offices, but a lot of the time, if there’s anything complicated or not very, very basic, they actually just call the doctor in for a consult. So then if you go in with a cough you’re wasting the NP’s time by being there with a cough and the doctor’s time if the NP thinks it might be something. I do love NPs. Don’t get me wrong. But they don’t go through four years of med school and then 3-8 years of residency to learn to do what they’re doing.

3: Health centers. I’m referring here to college health centers, where usually your only option is an NP and one that is barely qualified for the job, otherwise they would be working at a hospital or doctor’s office. College health centers are bullshit. If you’re in college and can possibly find a real doctor to go to, do it.

4: Antibiotics for a cough is the dumbest fucking thing ever. If you follow this advice and your doctor or NP prescribes you antibiotics “just in case it’s not just a cold,” find a different doctor or NP. You know those super-bacteria that are resistant to tons of antibiotics that everyone is afraid of? It’s shit like this that creates those bacteria. If you get antibiotics every fucking time you have a cough, you’re going to develop some fucking awesome bacteria that will kick most antibiotics’ asses and probably eventually end up in the ER because you got a damn papercut and it got infected by the stupid bacteria that you grew and nothing will treat it. You’re not taking care of yourself at all.

5: If someone gives you medical advice, ask them where they learned whatever advice they’re giving you. Things like “Oh, I read it in a magazine” or “They actually did a study” are not valid responses. (Also, if anyone tells you that chicken soup actually has medical benefits, tell them to shut the fuck up. All it will do is hydrate you a little and get you some nutrients, and even that only happens if it’s the good, home-made kind with lots of vegetables and no chemicals.) If the person is a medical professional or says something like “my doctor told me this” or “my boyfriend is a medical student and complains about patients who do this all the time because they’re essentially killing everyone” then their advice might be worth at least thinking about. If you’re not sure, call your doctor and ask if you should come in. Chances are, if you call your doctor and say “I’ve had this cough for a few days and someone recommended I make an appointment, do you think I should?” your doctor will probably tell you “No fucking way.” Well, something like that. If it’s something you wouldn’t normally go to the doctor about, make that “should I make an appointment” call before the “I’d like to schedule an appointment, please” call. You’ll save a lot of time and possibly also money and lives.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional; just a person who is surrounded by people who are medical professionals or are very close to being medical professionals. This advice reflects things they have told me but is not actually official medical advice. Thank you.

 

(Also: I’m now on Bloglovin’ and they’re requiring that I put this in a post: Follow my blog with bloglovin)

Why Wil Wheaton Totally Could (But Shouldn’t) Start a Religion

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I try to stay away from politics and religion as much as possible, but recent events have made me consider both of them more than I generally like to. Mostly, I’ve been getting angry about people who are complete assholes and use their religion as an excuse for their behavior. It doesn’t matter what religion you subscribe to: none of them have “act like a total douche” in their codes of behavior. Mike and I were discussing this last night when I began to reiterate a believe I’ve held for quite some time: most religions have pretty much the exact same message if you take out the stuff specific to their God or Goddess or whatever. And I came to an Awesome Realization.

(A Few Isolated Examples Of The) Ten Commandments (Christianity and Judaism)
Thou shalt not murder: murdering people is kind of a dick move.
Thou shalt not steal: stealing things is something only a dick would do.
Thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s wife: you’d have to be a complete dick to covet your neighbor’s wife!

A few Islam Rules
Do not confound truth with falsehood: because if you lie, you’re probably a dick.
If you do not have complete knowledge about anything, better keep your mouth shut. You might think that speaking about something without full knowledge is a trivial matter. But it might have grave consequences: if you spread rumors based on hearsay, you’re a dick. (There are actually quite a few rules along these lines according to my research.)
Spy not upon one another: because if you do, you’re a dick!
Treat kindly your parents, relatives, orphans and those who have been left alone in society: being mean to these people just makes you more of a dick.
Do not expect a return for your good behavior, not even thanks: mostly because if you do things expecting to have people treat you well in return, you’ll end up feeling entitled to everything just because you drive a hybrid and then you’ll be a total dick.

Some Hindu Rules
Ahimsa: non-violence: because violent people are dicks.
Satya: to live in the truth: like the lying thing up there–dicks.
Daya: compassion: if you are not compassionate, chances are you’re a dick.

The Witches’ Rede
Eight words the witches’ rede fulfill: an it harm none, do what ye will: do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t harm anyone because harming people is totally a dick move.

Okay, so I think I’ve covered a few of the major religions up there. From everything I’ve read, the rules in all of them boil down to three things: (1) worship God(s/dess/whatever), (2) public health measures from millennia ago, and, most importantly, (3): DON’T BE A DICK.

Where have we heard that before? If you’re any sort of geek, probably from Wil Wheaton. That’s right–some celebrity dude’s personal motto and code of conduct has perfectly summed up that of ever major religion and probably most minor ones. (Also, I didn’t include all of what Jesus is said to have said, but it all boils down to “don’t be a dick.” I mean, come on: “Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn” [note: I’m not sure if that’s one of the translations of the Bible or Rent’s summary], “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” etc.)

Your New Leader

So basically, Wil Wheaton is telling us the exact same thing as all the religions AND he’s already got a huge following. If he wanted to, he would have no problem starting up his own new religion. I mean, come on. You’d be Wheatonist, right? He is a nice person (I know because I follow him on Twitter) and he wants you to be a nice person, and that’s the point of the religion. Sounds pretty solid to me.

Why he shouldn’t: Here is the problem. You see the caption for that image up there? Did anything in your brain rebel against that? Even if yours did, I bet a lot of people’s wouldn’t. Even though I totally can’t imagine Wil Wheaton purposefully starting a cult, any religion he started would turn into one just because people love him that goddamn much.

Things I Overheard Wil Wheaton Saying in a Hypothetical World Where He’d Started a Religion:
-“Hey, what’s with the robes? D&D? Huh. Okay. Whatever.” (A few minutes later, different group) “Hey, what’s with the robes? Need a DM? Dammit, why are you bowing to me?”
-“Is that a 50-foot statue of me? Why are you building a 50-foot statue of me? Fuck, NO do NOT hang the non-believers from the statue! Take that down right now!”
-“Why are you repeating everything I say? And what’s with the monotone? Stop calling me Master!”
-“Guys seriously I did not call for a mass suicide on this day what are you doing STOP IT–” (Moments later, every single one of Wil Wheaton’s followers killed themselves. Aside from Wil himself, everyone left on Earth was a dick.)

Wil Wheaton already has enough of a cult following as it is. A religion would only make things worse, but I do hope that his cult following actually listens to his “don’t be a dick” thing. It’s kind of important.

Collating Papers For Your Sins (via The Bloggess, who also shouldn't start a religion for pretty much the same reasons)

Wil Wheaton, if you’re reading this, please don’t start your own religion.

Horrible Medical Advice of the Week: Dremel Tools and You

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Dammit, I made this a weekly feature last week, didn’t I? Okay. Commitment. I can handle that. Let’s do this.

You might think that Dremel Tools are only good for creating holes in your face that will relieve sinus pressure. (What? You’ve never thought of that? Huh. Okay. I guess this is all new for you, then!)

A lot of pain that people experience is caused by pressure in one form or another. I mentioned sinus pressure above because it’s particularly common right now, when we find ourselves in the middle of allergy season, but there are so many more. Gas cramps? Pressure. Infection? There’s more to it than pressure, but I’m pretty sure there’s pressure involved in the building up of infectious goo shit. And then a bunch of pain caused by fluid collecting in whatever area. Oh, and we can’t forget blood pressure. Just a reminder of how important it is.

The best way to relieve pressure is to drain whatever’s causing it. In most cases, people go to the hospital for this. Going to the hospital, however, often leads to overwhelmingly large medical bills and, well, higher blood pressure when you have to deal with your insurance company and their refusal to cover the surgery you needed. So we need an at-home remedy, and how hard could it be?

All you need to do is drill a hole wherever the pain is.

It doesn’t even have to be pain! Drill a hole wherever the whatever-is-wrong is. Crazy? Drill a hole in your head! Don’t worry, they’ve been doing it since ancient times.

Hieronymus Bosch's painting "Stone Cutting" depicts the ancient practice of Trepanning, when holes were drilled in your head to make you less crazy. Also, that dude is wearing a Tin Man hat.

So the best way to do this nowadays is probably a Dremel Tool. You might have heard of one (or seen one, or used one). They make holes in things. In fact, they can make a lot of different kinds of holes in things. Check it out:

Look at all those hole-making accessories!

It’s a pretty small picture, but you can see how easy this might be to use. It’s be like holding a giant pen that has pretty much every tip you could possibly hope for. There are small-hole tools–great for draining those sinuses. Then there are big-hole tools, for the at-home trepanning you need. The cylindrical ones look like they’d go through bones if you wanted them to! And then the big, flat disc-looking ones could even remove any bumps from your skin that you don’t like, and you could probably even get nail-buffing attachments.

Small tips would be great for sinuses (as I mentioned), draining blood from one of those under-your-fingernail blood blisters, or relieving small, visible abscesses. Larger tips could be used for drilling into places you can’t locate perfectly (like cramps), or perhaps creating the larger hole to let you find the internal pressure (like bigger, internal abscesses).

So stop wasting your money on hospital bills and order yourself a Dremel Tool for a one-time fee. Then take care of every problem you have with it. Just remember to be liberal in your pouring-alcohol-on-the-wound-to-disinfect thing, or else you’ll just have to operate again.

Disclaimer: Don’t do this. Really. Go to the hospital if you need to. Trepanning went out of style for a reason.

Apparently the Raptors are Coming Tomorrow

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I’ve heard a lot of talk about how “we’re all going to die” because “The Raptor” is coming. I think someone probably made a mistake somewhere, because I don’t think the raptors would just send one ambassador over. It’s also possible that people just don’t remember how to properly pluralize words anymore and have started speaking solely in the singular. It’s okay, though, because I knew what they meant. And I’m not sure how people managed to not tell me this for so long. I mean, come on! If anyone can negotiate with them, I can. I speak Velociraptor and everything.

The thing is, we don’t have to die. I mean, yeah, if the raptors show up and we are all standing there with rocket launchers or machine guns or whatever they’ll take us out, but like I said–negotiation. The first thing we need to do is make sure they know we don’t want to hurt them. Now, clearly not everyone is on the same page here. I mean, I bet there are plenty of people who will want to take the raptors out immediately, and I look upon them with scorn. However, if you’re with me in welcoming and being friendly with the raptors in order to create a multi-species-friendly environment here on Earth.

I made a welcome banner. Anyone who wants to use it has my permission. Just print it out on a giant piece of paper or fabric or something and hang it on the outside of your house.

We're not going to kill you!

It occurred to me halfway through that they might not read English, so I added some universally recognizable symbols in there so we're clear.

The next step is to accept the possibility that, no matter how peaceful we are toward them, they might not share the same feelings. Whether it’s because our neighbors are throwing grenades at them or because they blame us for the dinopocalypse that killed them all in the first place, it’s possible that they’re just here to eat us. If we notice that this is the case, there are a few important steps that we’ll have to take. (You might have a few days to do this–pay attention to where they first show up. If they’re on the other side of the world, you probably have time.)

FIRST: Check for velociraptor entry points. Bay windows, big sliding glass doors, walls replaced with just a piece of plywood or something–you’ll want to secure these. Iron bars, really thick sheets of plexiglass, whatever. Use something strong and make sure it’s guarding from inside, because their little claws are surprisingly dextrous.

SECOND: Find the safest spot in your house. Try to stay away from doors and windows, or put as many doors between you and the raptors as possible. It’ll slow them down and allow you to mentally prepare yourself for their onslaught. Make sure you bring along plenty of food and guns.

THIRD: Take a look at some practice situations. If you run through enough different situations beforehand, you’ll be better equipped to know the best course of action when they actually show up. XKCD gives three really great situations to start you off. From there, try moving the raptors around, changing the number, switching up the floor plan, etc. Look for safe places to hop into before you’re devoured–if you have a cement capsule handy, that should help.

FOURTH: Be prepared to make some sacrifices. If they’re not willing to be peaceful at first, they might change their minds after you let them eat your dog or cat or entire cattle farm. The less hungry they are, the longer we live.

I drew a dinosaur!

You can run, but he's just gonna catch you.

Now, keep in mind that if the raptors are not willing to negotiate, we’re probably all fucked. All this will do is keep you alive a little bit longer. Your best bet is really to start off friendly with them and feel the situation out from there. With luck, we’ll all be safe.

Well…good luck tomorrow, everyone. I hope you guys make it through.  I really do. Remember, we’re all in this together.

UPDATE: So it turns out that this whole time they’ve all been saying “rapture” and not “raptor“. Enunciate, people. It’s important. If people can’t understand you clearly, they might think they’re being visited by raptors and get all excited and make a banner. But you know what? I’m keeping the banner. I will always be prepared for raptor visits. And even though the raptors didn’t come today, I think the tips in this post could be helpful in the future so I’m leaving it up.

P.S. Sorry you weren’t worthy. It’s okay, though. I wasn’t either.

Dammit, Finals Suck for English Majors Too.

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I bet anyone who is not an English major and sees the title of this post is scoffing just at the idea that we actually have work to do at the end of the semester. “Oh, bullshit, so you’ve got to write a two-page paper.” “Oh no, you have to revise something you already wrote, boo hoo!” Well, shut up. We don’t have it nearly as easy as you think and I’m going to tell you why.

English (Literature) Classes
I’m a Creative Writing major with a Literature minor, so I’ll be addressing both areas within the blanket “English” field. (I’m lucky that my school divides them so I can have both.) We’re starting with literature.

This (well, last) semester, I took a really excellent course in the history and evolution of the English language. We studied Old English, read a bunch of Middle English, learned about how the language became standardized and how some assholes who thought they were better than everyone else wrote down a bunch of arbitrary rules that we are still held to to this very day. Ever get yelled at for ending a sentence with a preposition? Well, that’s because these jerks said, “It’s literally impossible to do in Latin because the prepositions are built into the words, so it must be wrong to do it in English!” when they wrote their book. Oddly enough, the very next sentence in said book ended in a preposition. Go figure.

The format for this class’s final was similar to many other literature courses I’ve taken. We have a research paper due on the last day of class. The research papers vary in length depending on the level of the course, but sources are important. When my professor assigned the paper (disputed usage in Modern English–I wrote about “all right” vs. “alright”), I was pretty excited because I’m a nerd so I started doing some fairly basic research right away. This was about a month before the paper was due. A few days before the paper was due, I started doing hardcore research–finding all the books I could and collecting them together and taking notes, writing down just about every quote that looked remotely useful. I spent about three days doing hardcore research into this. Really. Three days of research to back up my claim that “alright” has evolved to have a meaning of its own and written communication would be clearer if Standard English allowed it. Okay? Then a day actually writing the paper. Then a three-day break before the actual exam for the class, in which we had to describe in detail the grammatical use of any particular word in a short passage we were given. I’m assuming most of you haven’t ever studied Latin or German, because they’re not all that common anymore. So please go identify all the Genitive nouns in the previous paragraph. After that, describe the tense and mood of all the verbs in the first paragraph. And quick: what part of speech is “the”? Okay, so that was part 1. In part 2, we had to read a passage of written English and identify which century it was from and be able to defend our positions. A few of those were obvious, but really, there are only minor differences between 17th century texts and 18th century texts. You have to know exactly what to look for. We were not told exactly what to look for, so we had to figure that out on our own. (The same goes for 18th and 19th century.)

Another common literature exam tactic is the “identify this quote” game. List of quotations from everything you’ve read this semester. Provide the piece it’s from, who said it, the context it’s in, and the importance of the quote. Do that 30 times. Oh, and your professor doesn’t give a fuck about your carpal tunnel syndrome–you have two hours.

Creative Writing Classes
This is the one that people really don’t think requires any effort. I mean, how can you do an exam in creative writing? You can’t, really. You have to prove that you learned something in the class by writing or revising a creative piece. No other way to do it.

Taking a poetry class? Find every poem you wrote this semester. Revise it according to your professor’s comments, which are impossible to read because he hand-writes them and has shitty handwriting. And you better make some pretty significant changes to those poems, and they better be related to what you’ve discussed in class. Be prepared to completely re-write half of them.

Scriptwriting? I did that this semester. Write a screenplay. And a stage piece. They’re due on the same day. Good luck.

Fiction? I love writing fiction. You’ve probably written at least one story over the course of the semester. Maybe you’ve written a few stories, or one long story. You’ll probably have to revise it. So let’s say you wrote one long (30 page) story in third person omniscient. And let’s also say that at some point you realized that third person omniscient is a horrible way to be telling this as a short story and you should do something about that. Suddenly you need it to be in first person. You realize you’ve never written anything in first person. In fact, you have no fucking clue how to do it. So you do some research by reading things in first person that you really love and you think set good examples. And then you realize that you weren’t paying much attention to exactly how the point of view was used in the story and go back and re-read it. Do that for a while before you’re ready to sit down the night before it’s due and actually re-write however much of your story you need to. Realize that the 15ish pages you wrote aren’t condensing. In fact, this group of six pages is now exactly 10. You didn’t even get to the point that you wanted to get to, but now it’s nearing 3am and you have to wake up early tomorrow to drive 10 hours to your brother’s graduation.

Things to keep in mind when it comes to creative writing: you need to know a lot of shit to be able to make up a story. I reached a point in mine where a character drops a piece of plexiglass onto the cement floor. If you want to do it right, you’ve gotta go find a piece of plexiglass and a cement floor to drop it on so you know exactly what sound it makes. And you need that kind of detail for every single thing you put into your writing, whatever genre it is. Does one of your characters have a flower in her hair? What kind of flower? How exactly do you want to describe the color? Are there speckles? Go learn the anatomy of it so you can refer to the “stamen” and not look like an idiot. Because have you ever read a book or a story or a poem or watched a movie or TV show and said, “wait a minute, I know something about this field and that is NOT how it works!”? I know I have. So be prepared to either know how everything works or look dumb. (And if you’re writing science fiction, you’ve really gotta know the science behind the stuff you’re making up. I’ll be doing a self-taught crash-course in zoology this summer just because I made up a monster one day.)

Still think your finals are harder?
I can’t really say whether they’re harder or not. I haven’t been any other major for a while. I’m sure your finals suck too. That isn’t my point here. My point is more that, for whatever reason, English majors get a ton of shit for not ever having to do actual work during their entire college career and that’s not true. We do work. Especially if we care, and I care a lot. Math and science majors aren’t the only ones who collapse on their bed at the end of the semester and realize, fuck, it’s been over a month since I got more than three hours of sleep at a time.

(Oh, by the way, this whole rant? That’s why I sorta disappeared for a bit. Sorry ’bout that. It should be better now. I’m gonna go to sleep, though. And then I’m gonna take a day-long nap.)

Horrible Medical Advice of the Week: Preventative Euthanasia

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I HAVE RETURNED.

With features. Well, feature. Introducing: Medical Monday.

It seems like people enjoy thinking about the future. What awesome new technology will we come up with? What cool changes will happen in the world? Will aliens conquer our planet? When’s the zombie apocalypse happening and how can I best save the world when it does?

If you find yourself thinking about things like this, you’re missing a key idea: by the time most of this happens, you’re going to be old. You will be old and sick and probably in a lot of pain from whatever horrible diseases you’ve contracted or developed due to the disintegration of tissues or build-up of fat cells or whatever. At some point in your life, you’re going to go from I am going to kick some some zombie ass! to I hope I can make it to the toilet today.

Do you want that to happen? If not, keep reading. If so, this post is probably not for you, but that’s okay.

I HAVE SOLVED YOUR PROBLEM! (Actually, Mike, who is less than a month away from being Mike, M.D. has solved your problem.) Do you want to go out knowing that you still could have kicked major zombie ass? That you actually have at least some vague idea of how to use the newest, most up-to-date technology without having a 7-year-old explain it to you? Now you can.

All you need is Preventative Euthanasia.

See, normally, you can only get euthanasia–wait. You can’t get euthanasia. Hold on. In theory, euthanasia is for people who have illnesses that are making them miserable and incoherent. PREVENTATIVE euthanasia is for people who realize that, eventually, some illness will make them miserable and incoherent and likely sitting in a puddle of their own diarrhea for hours before a nurse realizes and cleans them up, and that it’s probably best to quit while you’re ahead. With preventative euthanasia, you’ll never reach that point.

Now, you might be wondering: what is the difference between preventative euthanasia and suicide? But I just explained that. Suicide is a horrible thing that happens when someone thinks their life is completely terrible right now. Preventative euthanasia is for people who think their life is pretty cool right now and want their life to be cool for the whole time it’s around.

You might be thinking, Rachael, this sounds awesome. How do I get in on it? Think no longer. (About this, that is. Please continue thinking in general.) All you need is a 2-liter bottle of orange soda (some say older is better, but that’s up for discussion) and an IV bag (and tubing and needle). Pour the soda into the bag, get someone with some medical knowledge to attach it to you, and wait. And as you die a probably horrible and painful death from having orange soda directly injected into your blood system, know that you won’t go out in a depressing, horribly embarrassing way.

***

DISCLAIMER: My blog’s disclaimer is especially true in posts like this: don’t take what I say on here seriously (except for the few instances when, like now, I’m asking you to take me seriously for a minute or two). And the fact that Mike is close to being a Real Doctor does not mean that the random shit he comes up with in his spare time is a good idea. DON’T DO THIS. Please do not kill yourself, either with an orange soda IV or with anything else. Suicide is a horrible thing and it’s tragic that it affects so many. If you feel suicidal, please call a help line. If you feel depressed or anxious or lost or apathetic, please call a doctor and try to find a psychiatrist and/or psychologist in your area. I’ve gone through difficult things and met a lot of people who have gone through worse things. There’s some stigma against therapy, but it’s smaller than you realize. Most of the time, people respect the strength it took you to begin looking for help in the first place, and they don’t judge you based on the fact that your brain makes the wrong amount of some chemical or other.

AND ON ANOTHER SERIOUS NOTE: Euthanasia is a very serious topic that I can’t even begin to cover by myself. However, one of my favorite authors, Terry Pratchett, suffers from early-onset Alzheimer’s and wrote a beautiful, moving essay on the topic. I urge you to read it.

Outdoor Fucking, among other things

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It’s finals time. Well, it’s “I’m a creative writing major and all my finals are papers or writing/revising that is actually due before the official finals week so I’m fucking stressed for three weeks instead of one” time, except it’s the last week of that so shit is really hitting the fan.

Thus, in lieu of a real post, you get this. I promise it’s one of the best things on the internet.

Thank you, Jonathan Coulton and Stephen Torrence for bringing this into creation.

Some facts:
-I think fucking outside might actually be a terrible idea because there are bugs and dirt and also other people.
-I can sign the chorus. And do. In fact, I can’t really separate the signing from the singing. It doesn’t help that they’re practically the same word.
-I have a huge crush on the guy who signs these.
-You should watch the other ASL videos. “Party in the USA” is honestly hilarious. And for more Jonathan Coulton, I highly recommend “RE: Your Brains.” It’s about zombies.
-Doesn’t this guy kinda look like Eric from That 70’s Show?
-It totally bothers me that “Eric Foreman” refers to characters from both “That 70’s Show” and “House.” Couldn’t the writers of “House” have come up with a name that I didn’t already associate with someone?
-This is the first time I’ve ever told a blog post not to go up for a few hours. Because I don’t want any West Coast people getting this too soon.
-I have a headache.

Now I have to go to bed so I can be awake to go apartment hunting and write a paper about the use of “alright” and revise some plays and screenplays and poems and short fiction. AWESOME. See you guys soon. I hope.