With all the tools we have at our disposal through this awesome “Internet” thing, it seems pretty ridiculous that you’d ever go to a doctor’s appointment without at least having an idea about what your problem could be. If you do enough research, though, you can probably get a spot-on diagnosis! In fact, it’s sort of absurd that we even go to doctors at all these days. Google your symptoms, pick an illness, send it off to the pharmacy and get your drugs!
Unfortunately, we can’t do that. I mean, we can Google our symptoms, and there’s always WebMD, but there’s nothing out there that allows us to write our own prescriptions, so we have to go to the doctor anyway. That is fucking inconvenient.
So, to save time when you go to your doctor, make sure to do a quick search of your symptoms and go in with your diagnosis ready. Doctors love that.* It saves them time, and that will allow them to take a longer lunch break or see an extra patient (which means they get paid for an extra visit) or something. Awesome! And you don’t have to sit and talk to the doctor for 15 minutes when you already know you have ALS. (Note: I have no clue what ALS is.)
Go in. Tell your doctor what you have and how you know. You might encounter a problem here, though: your doctor might have some different ideas, and that ruins the whole time-saving thing. For example, when I went to my doctor a few months ago, I was absolutely sure that I had major sinus issues and probably jaw-arthritis. But he’s all going on about migraines! What the hell, doctor? I know what’s going on!** So if Doc’s got other ideas, you have a few options. You can follow your doctor’s advice and assume he’s right. You can demand to be tested for what you already know you have. You can also demand to be treated for what you already know you have–if necessary, alongside whatever the doctor’s giving you. And if your doctor is obstinate and refuses despite all the printouts you brought in that back you up, you still have an option: doctor-shop. Leave your PCP’s practice and find a new one. Tell them what you have, how your other doctor wouldn’t listen, and show this new doctor your printouts. Do this until you have a doctor who will give you whatever you want, and BAM! Cured.
In other news, Almost-Dr. Boyfriend has graduated and become Dr. Boyfriend, so he can officially back up the “Horrible” part of the title of this post. (I haven’t been around because we moved, and (a) moving is a long and involved process and (b) I am fucking exhausted. Regular updates will resume shortly. And if this isn’t funny at all, it’s because I’m fucking exhausted.)
*Actually, they really hate this. Hey–disclaimer, remember?
**Thankfully, the migraine medication he prescribed me works wonders for jaw-arthritis and sinus issues.