And yet, this is the sort of “medical advice” you’re required to follow if you want to be a fully-licensed doctor. Kinda fucked up, I think.
Right now, there is some sort of THING dancing around Mike’s shoulders–like the angel and devil things, except it’s a doctor trainer. And it’s going: “Hey, asshole! You liked that thing where you had all of May through June 20th off completely? Yeah? You got to sleep whenever you wanted, didn’t you? I bet you enjoyed your 3am-11am sleep schedule. It probably wasn’t all that difficult to suddenly adapt to orientation schedule that was basically normal work hours. I mean, sort of early, but you were at least getting some sleep. But HAH! Fucker. Could you become nocturnal in two days? COULD YOU? Well, I guess you could, because you’re awake…but how are you doing with that whole the care of pregnant woman, newborn babies and new mothers is now in your hands thing?” I mean, seriously. That can’t be smart. Screwing with your sleep schedule screws with your ability to function, and fucking up someone’s ability to function and then going all TAKE CARE OF BABIES, BITCH seems stupid. If you ask me. Of course, I’m not a doctor, so who knows.
I discovered a problem pretty much right away where, while I’ve been sleeping through Mike waking up and getting ready to go to the hospital for almost two years now, I can’t sleep through him going to bed. At all. So either our sleep cycles are complete opposites (which, no, mine’s not waking up before 8am) and we never see each other, or I invert my sleep cycle with him. AWESOME.
I woke up at 11am yesterday. I have not slept since then. I am currently trying to figure out how to make a face that I made with the fun characters my cell phone lets me type but my computer doesn’t. (What the hell, computer? I need these people to see how hard this is!) My face hurts. It’s hilarious. I kind of wish I had my webcam set up because then I could see what I looked like and maybe post a picture, but I don’t and I’m too tired to find it.
So your horrible advice this week is to do what we just did. Or to blow yourself up with a firework. Whichever.