Has anyone ever noticed a discrepancy between what the images next to the warnings on their pill bottles seem to imply and what the warning actually says?
Honestly, it’s not something I ever really paid attention to. Probably because I never really gave a shit about the warnings on my pill bottles. But yesterday, Mike brought them to my attention, and I must say: this shit is fucked. I’ve taken the liberty of copying the pictures into files here for your enjoyment.
What the bottle says: WARNING: Do Not Use If You Are Pregnant, Suspect That You Are Pregnant, Or While Breastfeeding. Check With Your Doctor Or Pharmacist.
What I’m getting from the picture: This is birth control.
I think this one may actually be the most dangerous.
What the bottle says: Do Not Take Other Medications Without Checking With Your Doctor Or Pharmacist.
What I’m getting from the picture: This medication may cause you to develop a square head. Also, stop plugging your phone into your neck.
Just a bit nerve-wracking.
What the bottle says: May Cause Dizziness
What I’m getting from the picture: This medication may lead to the development of curly-fry eyebrows.
All my pills have this picture on them. I’m checking the mirror compulsively. It seems important to pull out any eyebrows that are sticking up oddly to prevent this side effect.
What the bottle says: May Cause Drowsiness. Alcohol May Intensify This Effect. Use Care when Operating A Car Or Dangerous Machinery.
What I’m getting from the picture: This medication will cause you to seduce someone over a glass of wine.
This is on two of my bottles. It seems like it would be in Mike’s best interests to buy me a bottle of wine, no?
What the bottle says: Take With Food
What I’m getting from the picture: …Actually I’m drawing a blank here. Let’s work on this together, kay?
Option 1: This medication will turn you into Bullet Bill.
You guys played Mario, right?
Option 2: This medication is actually a bullet vibrator.
I honestly haven’t tried to find out.
So when you’re taking your pills, make sure to look at the pictures. They’ll tell you everything you need to know.
But seriously. What do you guys think that last one is supposed to be a picture of?